Day 0 Liverpool-Cork-Goleen-Mizen Head-Goleen

Well it's that time again, when 4 middle aged men who should know better get as far away as possible in order to push man and machine to the limit* for a good cause! (*limit being the time between good cafe's/pubs...)

With this years challenge having been decided in January this year it is my pleasure to say that I had nothing to do with the organising this year, with Dec and Conleth doing the hotels and Kieran doing the route. The only thing which was my responsibility was getting the bikes over to Ireland and I didn't really do anything with that apart from asking Yan, the TOFS transport manager who pulled a blinder getting all 4 to just south of Cork so we could pick them up on the way. ,

It was then with a sense of taking the trip into the unknown that I made my way late on Saturday l

night to Conleths house in Liverpool where we would get the flight to Cork early next morning. After a fantastic home made curry, naan, popadoms, lime pickle, mango chutney and rice "snack" it was off to bed in a nice furnished bedroom ( no northern punishment cell as dished up by Dec last year) for a good sleep and the early 5.20 alarm clock call was all too soon upon us.

As I was in a crappy Vauxhall Mokka hire car after my beloved Scirrocco had an argument with an oil tanker last week I'd agreed to drop it off at the airport so pretty straight forward onto the 8.10 flight to Cork with Conleth where we would meet up with Dec and Kieran flying in from the beautiful south. Not before I had all my tools confiscated by security staff after being made to unpack both my panniers mind. Good job Conleth had packed a tool box worth onto his bike before they were shipped over. We'd need all them and more for an early evening of bodging later on....

Ryanair was it's usual steerage self and by 9.30 we had settled into the arrivals lounge with the second coffee of the day waiting the 5 hours until the other 2 got here. After setting the world to rights and reading the papers Dec turned up with his other brother Dermot who lives over here and had kindly offered to drive the hire mini bus down to Goleen picking the bikes up on the way and then back to the airport, top man! After Dec handed out the 4 tubs of brownies he'd baked, 12 bottles of legal EPO ( beetroot juice to you and me) 2 bags of gels and a bag of energy bars, Kieran arrived a vision in all white (school boy error) and we had loaded up the mini bus and were off on the 70 miles or so to Goleen.

Yan had arranged for the bikes to be left at the security gate of a meat processing factory in Bordan and at 3 o'clock we rocked up to be met by.........no-one. The gates were closed and there didn't seem to be anyone about. Bollocks! I rang the number I'd been given and it rang out. Just as I was thinking what I was going to do know the gate opened and a young guy came out of the guardhouse. " sure, I didn't see you fellas standing there as I was watching the TV, are you here for the bikes?" Welcome to Ireland! The bikes were in the cages I'd sent them in and all present and correct so it was out of the cages and with a little thought, we'd managed to get the rearmost seat down and get everything loaded up. The only issue came when lifting Conleth's bike "Gertrude" who is somewhat of a big boned lass with a thiroid problem out of the cage and into the van! As the only one not on a road bike, he may have played a blinder or taken a knife to a gun fight! Time will tell!

Stopping only for the first of what I'm told will be many ham sandwiches, a packet of legendary Tayto crisp ( although I got found out as the only non Irishman among us by getting smokey bacon, treated like a heathen because I didn't get ready salted, who new?!) and suprise, suprise some cake it was onwards for the last 20 miles to Goleen. We then got stuck behind "Gunter the German" and his panzer wagon mobile home and massive trailer and down to 20mph. By this time the N71 was down to not much more than a single lane and despite Dermot's best efforts there was no way past. Finally with around 5 miles left to go, he signalled in and quick as a flash Dermot was past and we were away...just as the sat nav had us turning off the main road down a proper single track road skirting the inlet. 2 further miles of very slow progress ( but with spectacular views) and we reached the junction of the main road.....just in time to see the panzer wagon trundle by with a massive trail of traffic behind it......

knowing when we're beaten, we slipped in behind the division and rolling into Goleen looking for the signs for the Cove B&B, a quick left and we had arrived. With Dec off in to the B&B to get the best room, sorry, sort out the keys, it was time to empty the bus, thank Dermot for his sterling work and begin the cocking about! With the rush of getting the bikes to Yan the previous Friday, my bike (trigger, as in trigger's broom because everything's been replaced on it over the years) had new brake calliper S put on which got in the way of the rear pannier rack mounts and I didn't have time to sort it before we went. First job then was for Kieran to put his o level metal work skills to work as with only a pair of pliers and a leatherman he was able to sculpt the bracket into a wavy form Picasso would have been proud of to clear the calliper and fit the rack. It did take him around half an hour mind! Just to make sure it was properly bodged I didn't do up one of the screws just so it would rattle like a can of car paint for the test trip out to Mallin Head. Meanwhile Conleth had decided to pump up his front tyre so I lent him my pump only for him to come back with it in 2 bits. Once reassembled he started on 2 minutes of vigorous pumping and took the pump off the valve only for the top of the valve to come with it and fly off in amongst the gravel that made the surface of the car park. 15 minutes later after 4 of us trying to locate it on hands and knees the call was made to "sort it later" With the other 2 bikes also having minor maladies sorted we'd been messing about for an hour! At least it would mean we wouldn't be doing it in the morning! Taking the bags to the B&B Conleth had pulled a blinder with the accommodation, The Heron's cove was sat on a suprise, suprise a Cove with the rooms have a veranda looking out onto it. Deciding Dec had bagged the best room I decide to join him as we donned the bike gear for the first time for a quick spin out to the start for tomorrow at Mizen point. The sun had now come out so Dec decided that the one piece skin suit he'd brought would get a run out and as we'd only be going 15 miles or so with little traffic it was caps not helmets and up and out of the village. Following the route for tomorrow we'd gone 200 yards before the sign post pointed in the opposite direction to where the route was taking us! Obviously we followed the sign post and were soon on the gentle climb out of Goleen with spectacular scenery either side of us and then dropping down to another inlet there was a screech of brakes as a herd of cows decided it was a good time to cross the road right in front of us! Avoiding a bike bovine interface it was past the causeway and up the big climb to Mizen Head. We'd agreed before hand that there was to be no racing on the prologue so after only 4 miles Conleth came past everyone like a lightning bolt and disappeared up the road, impressive given the weight of Gertrude. The truce had lasted exactly 19 minutes....up a few gears and about a minute later I was past as sheer gravitational force came into play and I was away to enjoy the rest of the climb on my Tod. Rounding the bend to the car park and who was in front? It was Gunter and the panzer wagon! Once the others had appeared over the crest it was a sneaky photo with Dec and the wagon then a quick look at the visitors centre (you had to pay to get down the path at the end, much like Lands End) some photos and then back down the climb, stopping for a few photos and a staged video descent which Conleth hasn't quite got the hang of as he pulled in right by me instead of roaring past. Taking the (even more) scenic route back there was just time for Conleths tools to fall out of his frame bag and nearly brain Kieran before we got to 1km of the B&B And the jousting for the prologue stage began. Before it had started it was over. Dec had sped off the front. He's gone early we thought as he then eased up just as I reached a past him. "I've won, you can slow down" he said as I overtook him. "What do you mean you've won" I asked. Turns out Dec had made a new rule about the finish being the town/village sign being the finish line for the stage and not told anyone.......we all know now though! A quick shower and we decided to eat at the B&B as it was lovely looking over the cove and the 3 course TDH menu was consumed with ease as well as the 3 rounds of wheaten bread a 3 slabs of butter. The inner Labrador sparks into life early! It was then time for the 1 minute walk round the "town" and into the pub for a pint of the black stuff (or much to the amusement of my colleagues, a half in my case) there was just time to find out what rugby players do with 50p's on a night out and what an aquiantence of Kieran and Conleths used to do with a Fredo and back to the B&B for an early night. 88 miles tomorrow and the most climbing of any day up through the gap of Dunloe. And it's going to hose it down all day...